Lately .

As I sit here thinking about my life, I realize that I've lost a great deal of self motivation. This occcurance is highly unusual because for as long as I can remember, I've been over- the top, go for it, never back down. Nowadays, however, when it comes to academics especially, I have been unable to rekindle or even find that previous zeal. Maybe it's the fact that my life has sort of become a repeating pattern with no excitement or changes. Maybe it's my fruit-less search for love/ a relationship. Maybe it's the way I'm surrounded by mediocrity on a daily basis. Whatever the reason, I SERIOUSLY need to get over this hump in the road of my life and GET A MOVE ON. It's time to finally find something that really, truly, and thoroughly make me happy. It's time for me to discover a motivation deep within myself that will continually propel me towards success despite the tumult and down hill spirals of life. I must remember that while no one and no one's life is perfect, happiness is possible. And that while I may not have all the high- profile relationships or international popularity splashed across magazines, I have wonderful, amazing, independent people of individual thought who fit into the mold of my life and love me despite the flaws. Admitedly, I Sometimes feel stifled by the world around me but I can still be all that I want to be and even beyond it. What do I want to be? An artist, a writer, a speaker, a leader, a litigator, a free-spirit, a lover of life. How do I achieve this feat? Take life by the reins. Throw passion into all that I do even when it isn't easy. Get over the whole procrastination thing- YES I'm sure that somehow it's possible. Find true life examples of people who live and enjoy their lives happily with the help of elbow grease and sheer, determination. I love parousing blogs like Sealaura which give me glimpses into the beautiful life of a woman who takes what she has and spins it into pure gold. With this deiscovery along with others, I have realized a few things. For one, blogging makes me feel free. Like anything is truly possible. That I can write and express and reveal. Secondly, I've come to believe that I can do what I want and be happy. We all can. We just have to find the spark deep within ourselves, let it catch, and watch the fire grow.